Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize