you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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