How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
