I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
