I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
