my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
