So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
