Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
