i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
