Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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