That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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