I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
