If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
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I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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