So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
