Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I puked a lego.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
