I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
