community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize