What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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