the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
