Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
