what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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