so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
