Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wish there were birth control emojis
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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