Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
