all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're like the curious george of whores
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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