we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
