party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
