like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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