: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize