I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
