i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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