Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
