I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
