apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
