Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
