:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
