there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
