Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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