Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
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