I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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