Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
