It's Friday. Sex?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
