That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
