I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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