I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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