IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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