sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
there is puke in my bra ... again
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