So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
