The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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