tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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