They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
