we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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