i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
