I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have fence marks all over my body
All the doctor said was why
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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