brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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