i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
