oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
