If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
