please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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