Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
