is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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