I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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